In an era where digitalization has gone from being the exception to being the rule, the vast majority of communications today take place through emails, SMS, whatsapp, slack, telegram and other platforms that may be created while I create this post. All of these are tools of communication but not of real connection. Not only the communication became asynchronous, but in many cases impersonal.
Messages and chats are great forms of communication but they do not allow you to convey empathy or create true affective bonds. But why has this allergy spread almost across phone calls these days? Why have you lost the will to make and answer calls? Is it generational or a mere restructuring of what we mean by personal space and the new definition of the intrusive?
There are several arguments used to support the thesis of avoiding calls at all costs. Whether to do them or to attend. In practice, nobody wants to talk to anyone, at least over the phone.
But let’s go by parts:
“Calling is intrusive” : One of the most used arguments is that nowadays, with so many means of communication at our disposal, calls should only be used as a last resort. I even have friends of mine that the urgent code is when they call. “If they’re calling me it’s because it’s urgent”.
It might not be the right time. Not everyone is available at the same time to speak. It’s evident. With this evidence, the suggestion is to address the topic through messages, thus ensuring that everyone can speak when it is most convenient for them.
Talking has become a luxury.
Although as long as we can remember the day has always had 24 hours, the truth is that it has gotten “shorter and shorter”. With so much going on, every second counts and spending them talking to someone who has decided to steal our most precious possession is simply not an option.
All the points mentioned above have their raison d’être and in truth I don’t disagree with any of them.
Today, communication etiquette suggests that the communication model to be adopted must be based on the degree of urgency.
- No urgency: email
- Any urgency: SMS or whatsapp message
- Urgent: call
As we can see, it is only in the maximum urgency stage that you should choose to call. And even within the remote chance of calling someone, today’s common sense tells us that we should send a message asking when is the best time to contact them.
Despite all these etiquettes and the new plan of conduct, and despite agreeing with the points, it turns out that as with everything, there are advantages and disadvantages to not connecting. It is in my opinion the advantages of a call far outweigh its “weaknesses”.
1. The real ability to perceive the other person
Who has never had a misunderstanding through an email or message, throw the first stone or send me your CV because I want this person as Communication Director. Being able to perceive and be perceived are two distinct challenges that double their difficulty the more messages and emails on a topic are exchanged. Nothing a phone call can’t fix.
2. Create empathy and give real importance to “How are you?”
When we call someone we open up a world of possibilities because we are in one of the most organic ways to be able to understand how the other person really feels. Asking is ok by message greatly increases the chances of an “okay” without actually being. Only by listening to the other person’s voice can we really understand if they are okay and create a relationship. Relationships are nurtured through empathy and attention and care. As thoughtful as they are in writing, only the voice can bring some kind of empathy and emotion into the conversation, and that’s important.
3. Calling these days is a differentiator.
Whether to contact the CEO, to establish a partnership, to congratulate, nowadays whoever calls will be much easier in the memory and will have much more impact than a simple message. When we call we can take control of the conversation, we can improvise and avoid lame excuses from those who don’t want to talk. I recently contacted several Directors by email and message, without great success. However, when I was able to call the company, there was room for empathy, sympathy and even insistence, which allowed me to get several meetings and, consequently, business. Today, we continue to devalue the power of a phone call, but the principle of simplicity remains so far. Success lies in doing the simplest things excellently over and over again.
If in doubt, call.
By Vasco de Matos Ramos
Vasco Ramos 
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